ranty words



Irritating things made me write almost 1000 words in the previous post. That’s good and bad. I need to write more, but I hate that I usually only write in anger.

Shiny Things

I actually have a few updates. /gasp

First up is the whole streaming thing. My husband and I have decided to run a joint channel over on Twitch.

Over the past few months, I’ve spent some time browsing and streaming on Twitch via my own channel. It was kinda fun some nights, and really boring on others. Granted, I didn’t really have a set schedule, so it was hard for people to find me when streaming. Schedules help. If people know when you’ll be on, they’ll be more likely to tune in to watch.

Watch what, you ask? Well, games. Twitch is a streaming site that focuses mainly on games. They have, however, added additional categories such as music, gaming talk shows, and creative. I found creative a while back due to someone hosting another person’s channel. I found a guy just chillin’ and making chainmaille.

I thought that was pretty cool. For one, I didn’t even know that the category existed, or that they even allowed non-gaming streaming on the site. Apparently they do. I guess that’s why the Creative category was formed. If you search for that, you’ll find people mostly drawing or painting (digital and real), sculpting, and even glassblowing. It’s always fascinating to watch people make stuff.

This brings me back to the chainmaille. If I can stream a couple of days a week, maybe hang out and chat with people while I work, then I can have a set schedule for two things. For streaming, and for using up my stash o’ rings.

I have a lot.


Tackle box and case

The two plastic containers fit in the tackle box. The rings vary in size and color. I can make tons of stuff with all of it. In addition to those, I also have the top bin filled with rings that will eventually be turned into the start of a shirt.


The other shelf of the tackle box




That’s several pounds of rings just in that top bin. Like I said, I have a lot of rings. I’m sure this isn’t even all of my supplies. I kinda have stuff everywhere. Not pictured are beads and findings that I have in other containers. This stuff is just what I organized tonight. It’s about all my back could take. (Sitting on the floor going through tiny bags kinda hurts after a while…)

So… My husband requested that I make him a shirt. This is why I have gotten back into making things. He wants me to stream the progress. Not only will it give me a schedule to keep, but it will also give me the chance to make a lot of stuff. I won’t be working on the shirt every day, but I’m aiming for at least three times a week to stream chainmaille stuff. So, one day for shirt, the other two for jewelry or other small projects.

Eventually I will have quite a few things made. My last few streams were productive. I made two bracelets one day, and I made five pairs of earrings today. Those were both two hour sessions. I probably could make more things in that time, but since I’ve been such a slacker with this stuff, I’m not used to working with the pliers anymore. Two hours is the cut off point. My hands start aching. If I can stick to this routine, then I should be able to do longer sessions in the near future.

copperbraceThese two bracelets are copper and bright aluminum. They have a nice weight to them due to the copper rings.

Give these some time and the copper will dull to a nice old penny look. It kind of gives it an antique appearance. Quite fun.



The earrings are made from bright aluminum and anodized aluminum.

From left to right: Shaggy Loops x 4 pair, Byzantine. I varied the colors of the AA. The skyblue and seafoam are quite vibrant and look absolutely beautiful. This is why I love anodized aluminum. There is a huge range of colors you can get, and it allows for so many different patterns with the same weave.


I also made another bracelet last week, but never took picture of it. So, three bracelets and five pairs of earrings. My goal is to make as much as I can and use up colors that I’m low on. This way I can not only clear space, but create a base stock of jewelry. Most of it will go toward the possibility of opening an Etsy store. If I get enough jewelry, and enough interest, then I will definitely be selling stuff.

Also, in some fun news, I won the Witcher 3 from Alienware’s first Twitch stream. Yay me! Also, yay for free game! It is downloaded and will have to wait until tomorrow. It’s 4:30 am, and I should reeaaaally go to bed.


Night night.




Things and stuff

So… I’ve obviously been a bit quiet lately. Haven’t posted in a while. A month actually. Things have been… Well, they’ve been.

Moving on… Updates. I don’t have many. On the writing front, I finally finished the first draft of a short story. It ended up being 27 pages worth. (Go me!) I started edit mode the other day. Still have yet to finish that. I’ll be sending that story to two people once I’m ready. We’ll see how good/bad it is after that.

Game stuff. There’s been lots of that. Not really a new thing, but the addition of streaming is. I’m attempting to get a schedule going for streaming via Twitch. (twitch.tv/rabidbushbaby) Now that I have a webcam, I’ll probably be streaming more.

In addition to games being streamed, I’ll be working (or at least trying to work) on chainmaille projects. Bracelets, necklaces, etc. Who knows, maybe I’ll even try to sell a few things eventually. Not via Twitch, but on like Etsy or something.

The webcam also means that I can possibly do some drunk streaming with Eldritch. We can do some silly stuff for Drunken Alchemy. Yeah, yeah, slacking there too. But hey, we never get enough time to really do stuff for it. That sucks.

Weekends are the only time we have to get together to do stuff, and that time is usually pretty full up with vamps. Give it a few months, and my Vampire: The Masquerade campaign will be 5 years old. D’awww…

So, writing, gaming, more gaming. On Wednesday, my husband and I will be going to a fancy theater with recliners to watch the new Avengers movie. Huzzah!

/end update

Good vs Psycho

Slight update from the other day’s rant

So, turns out I got an apology from the chick who said the bad bisexual joke. She apologized for the out of context in joke, and realized how it could be taken badly.

Thing is, she stated that her and her friend both get tons of crap for being bi. It was a joke to mock the bisexual erasure thing.

So… Here’s the thing. I stated to the “friend” that I am a bisexual, and that I originally commented on it because I didn’t find the joke funny. The “friend” seemed to completely ignore what was actually said, and instead went on a rampage about how I shouldn’t bother sharing my opinions to bisexual strangers. She also apparently continued on after I was done with it, and was spouting off bullshit about how random people shouldn’t try to “step onto her digital porch”.

It’s Twitter. Everyone is on the same damn porch. You don’t want people hearing your shit, go the fuck inside and make your tweets private. There’s totally an option for that.

Also, apparently according to the “friend”, we were having a competition for “best gay”? I… I just don’t know how to respond to that one. Obviously, I’m not going to talk to her at all. Crazy gets blocked. But dude, how the hell does one jump to “I’ll eat you alive. We’re totally fighting now.” because someone simply says that they didn’t find one joke funny?

It made no sense to me. Honestly, it made me laugh a bit. It also made me a bit sad. I mean, for someone to go through bad experiences, and then totally disregard someone else because you constantly feel under attack? Yeah, that’s gotta be a stressful life.

I do appreciate the apology from the one chick though. Again, I had respect for her before. It dropped a bit from that post, but it came back up. Like I said, she’s way more open minded and accepting. She took responsibility for poor judgement. That’s rare. Especially on Twitter.

I had to send her a thank you because she was totally civil about it. Trying to get explanations out properly in 140 characters is tough. But hey, I told her that I’ve had similar experiences. I’ve had gay people tell me I’m not “gay enough”. I’ve had straight people tell me I’m “not active” because I’m not fucking both men and women at the same time. I’ve gone through shit too, which is why I responded the way I did.

People judge. It sucks. When people can actually listen and respond like an adult, it’s appreciated.

I got judged by the “friend” harshly. She seemed territorial over a stupid joke. I hope that she eventually understands how much the joke could have hurt others, not just me, by posting it out of context. I hope that she learns to understand someone’s statement before lashing out.

Rage is an exhausting thing. Hence why I was so irritated by the original situation. I had a bad day. It pushed me too far. I ranted after the fact in hopes that I would feel better. It only improved my mood a tiny bit. It’s frustrating to state simple things and not have people understand what you are saying.

I realize that my humor doesn’t come across well a lot of times with text. Again, twitter is a stupid way to try and debate things. It’s too short of a medium for proper discussion. However, if I’ve said something that you don’t understand, and then explain my stance clearly… Well, I’m done. I don’t want to argue. It’s a waste of time. Especially if one side refuses to ever listen to anyone else.

A Hearty Fuck You

Today on Twitter someone pissed me off.

I feel like I could do a daily, or even hourly, post about that.

However, today, there is ranting about a specific thing. Someone I followed retweeted a stupid thing they said. It was posted by their friend.

The image of a text involved the lines:
“Why don’t you make like a bisexual
And not exist”

Ok, so first off, fuck you.

Secondly, what the actual fuck?

Now, the statement alone pissed me off. The fact that the lady retweeted the thing pissed me off. Apparently she thought she was being hysterical. I apparently made the mistake of saying something about it. Cuz, you know, heaven forbid people have opinions on the fucking internet.

Stating that it sounded rude, via the twitter simplified way of #rude, brought the scorn of the woman who tweeted the image initially.

I basically got a “Omg, we’re totes friends, fuck you for being in our funny moment” type of response.

Let me say this…

Just because you are bisexual, and your friend is bisexual… Well, that doesn’t fucking mean that the statement wasn’t insulting. Bisexuals get a lot of shit from every community. Gay, straight, whatever. It is a common stereotype that bisexuality is just a myth. That people just make this shit up to seem edgy or use it as a “straight cover” to hide that they are gay.

I hate that shit. I hate that people have to categorize others, and that picking a label that feels comfortable to me means that I’ll have to deal with this bullshit.

So, yes, I was offended by the statement. It pissed me off. I said something about it.

What I got in return was some snotty little answer about how I should keep my opinions to myself. I’m pretty sure the chick didn’t even read what I said. I’M a bisexual, and I didn’t find the “joke” funny. Seriously, if you post on the internet, whether your own site, twitter, facebook, etc, you have to fucking know that there are other people out there that will read it. Don’t want them reading your shit and comment? Don’t post publicly. Protect your shit. Make it friends only. Simple.

Downside of all of this? I have lost respect for someone. The person making the “joke” was generally very open. It made me sad that she would say something like that, and the reaction from her friend just pushed me too far. I have had a very panic attacked filled day, and dealing with yet another person reacting negatively to me actually stepping up and voicing an opinion was too much.

It seems that the world doesn’t want to listen to me. Ever. So fine. I’ll block a few more idiots on Twitter. I’ll have some drinks, and pretend that I don’t exist. Congrats, world, you can go fuck yourself today.

Silent Castle

Push and pull
Tug on the sincerity
And watch it fall

This you have done
This you have lost
Now you enjoy the silence of all

You thought you wouldn’t bleed
So careless, and heartless
Everyone else carries the scars you caused

Keep on running
You’ll never escape the emotions
That you don’t think you have

You push people away
Pull the curtains tight
Suffocate on your own cowardice

Now there’s nothing left to hold
Nothing left to hide behind
Enjoy your solitude
Your silent castle of you

Because Fuck You

Let me start off by saying that I can’t stand condescending attitudes. People who treat you like you are a moron, and then suddenly feel obligated to “tell you like it is”.

Right. Fuck you.

If you’ve only read a twitter length statement and then proceed to explain things to me, all the while telling me that I’m misinformed, stroking my ego, and otherwise not intelligent enough to understand the “truth of the matter”…

Yeah, fuck you.

I do not appreciate people who do that shit, and feel like they are providing a fucking public service. I do not appreciate people who disregard other people’s feelings. I do not appreciate someone being told that they insulted someone, and then continue to insult them, only to finish off with a half assed “but I didn’t mean to” excuse.

Just… Fuck you.

I’ve dealt with people before who go through life with an elitist attitude, and it pisses me off when I encounter more people like that. I know I always will, and that pisses me off more.

What gets me the most is the mentality of “Well, I didn’t mean it like that, it’s not my fault you got offended. You’re just too sensitive”. Yeah, that’s complete and utter bullshit. Don’t treat another person like they are at fault when you are the one being a dick.

If you piss someone off, and didn’t mean to, just fucking say sorry. It’s one word. Two little fucking syllables. Sorry. Simple, ain’t it?

Oh, and FUCK YOU.

Argh and stuff

So, slight rant is needed right now. There were certain things brought up tonight that just irritated the shit outta me.

First off, the game that I currently play the most is Wildstar. Recently there was a discussion with people from Carbine (the company that made the game) about the status of pvp. (Not with me personally, but other players who are heavily pvp minded.)

Ok. Let me start that off by saying, how many companies take the time to actually talk to the players? I’m not big on forums, and I do know that other games discuss things via that, but still… How many of those big companies sit down to actually talk and answer questions about an area that they know is having issues? With the players?

I’ve learned a lot about the gaming industry because of Carbine’s actions. They are open. They are honest. They don’t like making promises if they aren’t sure they can keep them. Cuz, you know, shit actually takes time? This may sound like I’m on their side, and ya know what? Fuck it. I am. I like the people there. At no point do they have to tell people shit, and yet they do. It might not be every single fucking little detail, but they talk. Cuz really, if you don’t work for them, then you don’t need to know the backend details.

This is where the irritation lies. After a shockingly civil discussion between players and devs, people still bitched. People still whined that they weren’t getting what they wanted. People wanted answers, and they were upset when they didn’t get the exact things they were looking for.

Now, I can understand both sides. Devs need time to fix shit and figure out the best thing for their game. Players want a fixed product (pvp), and an ETA. I can also understand players quitting the game because they aren’t getting enough satisfaction out of it. However, the “I want it now” shit pisses me off. I don’t care if things have been “in the works” for a while. It’ll get done when it’s done.

Wildstar is has a very rich story, and actual content that should be focused on. I’m sure any pvp minded people just wanted to slap me for that, but fuck you. The story is fun. The story should be explored.

Personally, I don’t give a shit about pvp. Never really have. I usually don’t have a lot of fun with it. I prefer to work with people and not against. Granted, I actually can have fun with pvp in Wildstar. It’s a rare gem. That being said, I kind of wish that MMOs would stick to one or the other. Either be PVE or PVP. When they try to do both, each side suffers as they try to balance and make both groups happy. That sucks. People bitch, start demanding, and then make a big showy exit when nothing goes their way.

It amazes me when people feel the need to make grand exits from games. I’ve been seeing this more and more. They feel the need to announce it everywhere. I mean, if you aren’t having fun, maybe just stop playing? Save yourself the frustration. Don’t sit there and demand that a game provide you with more things to do while they are fixing the one aspect that you really want. That’s basically asking for a bribe to keep playing. I call bullshit.

Game makers should make the game that they want. Just like a writer should write the story that they want. Reading a book and suddenly telling the author to change things halfway through because you want to ship different characters is bullshit.

Just read. Just play. Enjoy. Or don’t. It’s up to you.

Show Me Your Madness

Stonehearst Asylum is streaming on Netflix. I’ve been wanting to watch this film for a while. I liked it. Pretty easy to get swept up into the story.

Biggest downside? My vamps. As I’ve stated before, I tend to “cast” my characters. Since I have practically no drawing capability, I use actors and such to represent what I feel they look like.

Jim Sturgess is one of them, and is also the main character in this movie. There were several traits that his character in the movie and my vamp share. I giggled at odd points because of this. It’s good that I watched this alone, because I’m sure I would have annoyed other people. (Unless, of course, it was my V:tM player. She would have understood and giggled right along with me.)

That part wasn’t really the downside. That came in the form of another character. His casting choice isn’t in the movie, but the setting was too close for comfort. This other character was in an asylum for over 15 years. There were a couple of points in the movie where things were very unsettling for him.

This is what I deal with. Characters react to movies I watch. I do wonder sometimes… If I had been born in a different era, how many things would have gotten me locked up?

Also, I got about twenty minutes into the movie and suddenly had to write this. It actually rather fit the entirety of the movie too. Turned out kinda cool.


Show me your madness
I’ll show you mine
Whisper of demons
And savage divine

Softly screaming
Heaven is dreaming
But you’re already gone

Hiding within
The mists and the darkness
Salvation waits to pounce

Bloody your mind
And rip out your soul
This is what you’ll find

Show me your madness
I’ll show you mine
Whisper of demons
Savage divine

Take my hand
Twist it tightly
Show me what you are

Savage divine
The angels are weeping
Show me your madness
And I’ll show you mine