Today I finally rented Burning Blue.
Let me just start by saying: I bawled my eyes out.
Ok, so I may be a bit emotional this week anyway… Probably not the best of times to be watching something that is full of pent up emotions. I kind of needed it though. For one, sometimes you just need that release. You just have to cry. You need to just let it all out and move on. For two, I can actually relate to this movie in a way.
It’s a good one. Seriously, you should go watch it. You can rent it through iTunes and watch it from the comfort of your own home. (Where you can cry as ugly as you want to…) The cast was great. Everyone did an awesome job, and the main two actors shined. Their portrayal was sweet and caused lots of “awww” and “I want to hug” responses.
Bravo Trent Ford and Rob Mayes. You guys rocked it. /applaud
So, what is this movie about? Well…
“Drawn from the author’s own life, BURNING BLUE explores the concepts of love, friendship and honor in the U.S. Navy when a routine accident investigation turns into a modern-day Witch Hunt. Following two fatal mishaps involving F-18 jets aboard an aircraft carrier a government agent is placed aboard the ship to determine what may be at the root of these accidents. His mission abruptly changes course when a young sailor reports seeing one of the fleets’ top-ranking fighter pilots in a gay club. The suspected aviator and three of his squadron mates and their spouses become the subjects of a deadly investigation entangling them in a web of jealousy and deceit changing their lives forever.”
That is directly from the website: http://www.burningbluefilm.com/ I figured I wouldn’t try to sum it up right now. Might as well let the official blurb say it properly. (Remember, I’m emotional. A summary from me might not end up too coherent.)
Here’s the trailer too:
So, there it is. An investigation gets derailed upon hints at a gay relationship. Somehow, two guys getting involved is massively more important and damaging to the Navy than anything else that could possibly happen. As that official summary stated, it is from the author’s own life. This is personal experience. It’s a story that a lot of people are scared to share.
This is how I can relate.
I obviously don’t work in the Navy. Also, I’m not a guy.
However, I’m bisexual.
…and I don’t really tell most people I meet. Hell, I work retail. Retail. It sucks. Even though there are a few who are “out” at work, I still fear that I’ll get shit for it if I mention it. Bisexuality is usually seen as one of two things. You are either “going through a phase” or “you’re just a slut”. /sigh
Now, I know I’ve posted things about it before. I’m getting better at that. Though, I think it’s still because of a sense of anonymity and the fact that most of my coworkers (and even family) don’t read my blog.
I’m not saying it needs to be shouted from the rooftops. Cuz really, it’s none of anyone’s fucking business. The only one who needs to really know about my sexuality is my husband. (Before you ask, yes, duh, he knows.) However, at the same time, I shouldn’t be scared to hide it from people I don’t even hang out with or know.
This is the issue. Well, one of them. There are a lot of judgmental people at work. Hell, in the town I live in. I don’t care about their opinion. I really don’t, but I also don’t want to deal with them. I don’t need to be talked about only because of one little detail. When people around here learn that someone is gay, they immediately gossip about it, and say “Oh, that explains everything.” It’s like being gay explains away every detail that they don’t like about a person. It’s frustrating, and completely bullshit.
I know how the gay community views bisexuality too. It’s either seen as “cheating” or “you’re just faking”. Again, bullshit. I can base this on personal experience too. I once had a gay friend say: “I won’t rest until you are fully gay.”
He seriously said that. To my face. As if my sexuality wasn’t “good enough” to be considered part of his community. That hurt. Someone who was so sure of his own sexuality looked down on me for mine. How is that different than a straight person looking down on a gay person? Oh, right, it’s not. It’s mean, horrible, and uncalled for.
Rambling aside, I still encourage you to go watch Burning Blue. It’s a wonderful film. It doesn’t focus on sex. It’s two people, falling in love.
That is beauty.